Shock revenge twist intensifies TV affair
WARNING: This story contains spoilers from Big Little Lies season 2, episode 5
We're nearing the pointy end of Big Little Lies 2, and it's shaping up to end as explosively as the first season's almighty cliffhanger.
The plot is very much turning its focus to Celeste (Nicole Kidman) and Mary Louise (Meryl Streep) as they fight for custody of Celeste and Perry's kids, Max and Josh.
Perry (spoiler) died in the first season after Bonnie (Zoe Kravitz) pushed him down the stairs at a school fundraiser as the Monterey women fought him off Celeste.
Naturally, the whole ordeal has taken its toll on Celeste, who was physically and emotionally abused by her husband, and Mary Louise (Perry's mum) will aim to prove in court Celeste isn't fit to raise the boys.
Here's what went on in Monterey in the latest episode, which is available to stream on Foxtel.
MADDY'S MARRIAGE WOES
Madeline (Reese Witherspoon) is doing everything she can to win back her husband, Ed, after he found out she had a lusty affair with Joseph Bachman, the theatre dude.
For starters, she serenades him with Aretha Franklin ballads in the car, and I personally think this is the best method to winning back your man.
Ain't nothing more irresistible than a gal who can't sing screeching "you make me feel like a naaaahtruaaal womuuuuuhn".
Afterwards, the couple attend group therapy. They probably expected an Alcoholics Anonymous-style intervention, but instead it was just randoms hugging each other.
Ed is honestly the cutest.
He's been a commendable father figure all along. Which is, as he points out, why Maddy cheated. He's too good.
But perhaps even he has been pushed too far.
While the pair are working on their marriage, Ed makes it very obvious to his wife he's jilted and can't trust her.
Later, we catch Ed at the bar and fellow jiltee Tori - the wife of Joseph Bachman - rocks up and without word just starts stroking his arm.
They give each other full-blown sex eyes, and it seems we're about to learn why people think revenge is sweet.
CUSTODY TRIAL COULD UNCOVER MURDER
Celeste and Mary Louise are engaging in a real sour custody battle over Max and Josh.
Mary Louise's lawyer proposes to Celeste the pair settle outside of court and agree to joint custody.
Celeste is not playing ball.
"You're not getting my boys, not for a Saturday, not for a Sunday, not for a f***ing minute. There will be no joint custody!" she screams at Mary Louise.
But she's forgetting something. As her lawyer points out to her, if this matter goes to court, Celeste could be questioned about Perry's murder, and she'll have to answer under oath.
Celeste summons the wolf pack, and they meet in a parking lot at dusk in Monterey.
Typical Maddy suggests Celeste just lie, which Renata points out is perjury.
"Can't you plead the fifth?" Maddy looks for another way. Nope, she can't, or she'll almost surely lose her kids.
To make matters worse for the Monterey five and their big-arse murder secret, Bonnie, Renata, Maddy and Jane are all on the witness list; so they're all obliged to speak in court.
With all her free time after being declared bankrupt, as well as being unceremoniously dumped from the Women in Power magazine feature, Renata takes it upon herself to hoodwink Mary Louise into dropping the fight.
She invites her over to her empty mansion for tea. They legit sit on an office chair and a beanbag, respectively.
Mary Louise, who viewers will know is a straight-up savage, essentially asks Renata if it's hard being poor now, and it doesn't go great. Renata's attempt at a disarm and charm goes out the window before it even started.
BONNIE'S MUM IS REALLY SCARY
When she rocked up in town at the beginning of season two, Bonnie's mum Elizabeth seemed like a cool chick. A straight shooter, yeah, but a caring mum.
Either I'm a poor judge of character or we've all been blindsided.
Her backstory has always been shrouded by mystery, but it seems now we're finally peeling back Bonnie's layers.
As her mum recovers in hospital following a stroke, Bonnie is hosting her weird yoga classes, and everyone is singing Chicago's banger If You Leave Me Now, and I would love to know what this is curing. But we don't have time for that.
Bonnie's dad Martin rocks up, and the pair trade cryptic jabs about the past.
"You don't think I protected you?" Martin asks Bonnie.
Bonnie pushes back and tells him he didn't protect her, and it's pretty obvious they're talking about Elizabeth.
"I was protecting you, or so I thought," Martin says. "I know how weak I must have seemed to you. I was trying to do whatever I could to make the rage go away for you. And for me. And for her."
Conversation then turns to that creepy vision Elizabeth had in the last episode when Bonnie was seen drowning.
"Sometimes what she sees turns out to be right, and now I'm worried," Martin adds.
The episode then finishes with Bonnie, yet again, pondering outside the police station.
Big Little Lies is available to stream on Foxtel