Ipswich scores unlikely accolade of 'S--t Town of Australia'
PROUD Ipswich residents have taken the accolade of 'S--t Town of Australia' in their stride, with a stiff upper lip and civic pride.
"The s--tellite city of Ipswich" or "Brisbane's grotty basement" is the latest Australian regional town to feature on the humorous Facebook page S--t Towns of Australia.
From Pauline Hanson, political corruption, the CBD and council, to race riots, home brew and dole bludgers, no part of the good, nor the bad of Ipswich was left untouched in the page's roast.
"Brisbane's grotty basement, the shitellite city of Ipswich is a notorious breeding ground for a whole range of unsavoury types including dole bludgers, drug addicts and NRL players," it reads.
"Most of Ipswich's residents live in vast shanty towns surrounding Centrelink, whiling away the days until their next handout drinking homebrewed liquor, playing darts with used syringes and impregnating teenagers.
"The city's pride and joy is the annual Ipswich Festival, five days of free family entertainment including a stolen car parade, an arson display and a race riot.
"Ipswich is perhaps best-known as the hometown of Pauline Hanson, who parlayed a background in deep-frying battered sausages into a political career pandering to racist rednecks who think that asylum seekers are fleeing war zones in leaky fishing boats so they can nick their jobs."
The page is dedicated to indexing regional towns and mercilessly twists their defining characteristics and mocks them.
Ipswich joined the ranks of Port Augusta (SA), Armidale (NSW), Mount Isa (QLD), Shepparton (VIC) and a laundry list of other towns to cop a good humoured, but some times a little 'too close to home' roast.
"The only useful thing Hanson has done is being great fodder for a hate wank. Ipswich continues this tradition of defective politicians by churning out an endless line of corrupt councillors, which would be remarkable if mayors being jailed and entire councils being sacked weren't commonplace in Queensland," the post continues.
"Ipswich's shambolic governance is reflected in the state of the joint, the only city in Australia that is literally a dump.
"Tonnes of trash is trucked in from across Queensland and New South Wales nightly and poured into old mines and empty lots in Ipswich, drenching entire neighbourhoods in a horrendous stench as well as smoke when the flammable stuff catches fire.
"On the plus side, the mountains of garbage do match the local decor of mould-coated houses and snake-infested abandoned cars adorning front lawns.
"Two of Ipswich's finest alumni were a pair of rooted units who made a golf ball bomb, left it in the street and blew off a kid's hands.
"One of the dipshits later blew off his own hands as well as parts of his genitals in a separate incident.
"Clearly, the only hope of salvation for Ipshit is the Bremer's banks bursting during one of the city's frequent floods and washing away the bogans in a Biblical deluge."
The 85,000-strong Facebook page has a dedicated cult following. While many residents thought the post were funny, others were upset by the post.
"You forgot to mention that bits of it sink into old underground mines and the constant hoons lapping the town centre like its Bathurst," said Nick Tanner.
"As a resident, I'm disappointed in this review. I feel there is so much more that could have been said, like the suburb of Goodna looting their neighbours in the middle of a flood," said Garin Russell.
"Most of this is accurate... its sad to see this is mostly because of the lack of jobs and activities available for youth..." said Carla Kirkby.
"The last major floods didn't wash away the turds, so what makes you think the next will help remove the skid marks of society," said Mick Ruggers Stephenson.
Ipswich is great - there's no doubt about that, but what about this Facebook page? Have your say ↓↓↓