Cassandra Thorburn drops divorce bombshell
Cassandra Thorburn has detailed the trauma of divorce nearly four years after separating from TV host Karl Stefanovic.
Speaking on her new podcast, Divorce Story: Surviving Separation, the former journalist insisted she is "over" her ex-husband.
"People often say, are you over them? Yes I am over them. I am over my ex-husband but it is about going through the grief of going through a divorce," Thorburn said in a discussion with psychologist Jackie Manning.
"Going through a divorce is really stressful, so that is something to grieve.
"Once that has all gone through, you are actually grieving the process of what you have gone through, the breakdown of a marriage and then the process of a divorce."
Thorburn launches the 12-week Pacific Magazines podcast today with co-host Annaliese Dent.
Episode one of the 40 minute podcast also included a personal story of divorce from a woman named Erin and a discussion with Relationships Australia chief executive and psychologist Elizabeth Shaw.
"I am Cass Thorburn and just over three years ago I had to start over," Thorburn said at the top of the show.
"I had been with my partner for 21 years, had three children but my relationship ended and all of a sudden I found myself a single stay at home mum."
Thorburn and Today breakfast host Stefanovic announced their separation in 2016. Stefanovic has remarried and is expecting a child with new partner Jasmine Stefanovic.
Of potential new love, she added: "It is a minefield out there baby."
Thorburn said Sheryl Sandberg's best-selling book Option B had helped her heal after her divorce. "Divorce is a trauma, it is something you have to go through a process of," she said.
"You can't underestimate that someone going through grief has to go through a process and if they have had a trauma, you can't limit that amount of grief. What it said to me is that 'yes there are steps to go through, there's also a grieving process that you have to go through, which I think are different'. Your own grief process is your own."
An important lesson for Thorburn was to realise the importance of "looking after yourself" and not taking things personally when nasty things are said from either side.
"Things are said or written or texted or emailed or however you have that relationship with someone that was once a spouse. I think this is a really important topic for us to address because you can't take all of it to heart," she said. "You can often treat those closest to you the worst. You can say things that you wouldn't be able to say to someone else."