Trip Advisor is a treasure trove of fun.
Trip Advisor is a treasure trove of fun.

‘Almost plunged to my death’: The best (worst) Coffs reviews

If there is one thing I love it is trawling through Trip Advisor to find hilarious reviews from people who love to complain or who have genuinely had a horrific experience and lived to tell the tale.

In an effort to avoid needlessly sticking the knife in to otherwise decent establishments, we have removed the names of the venues.

Very poor

Rossdonkeyfat was not only disappointed, he nearly died on the way to one of the best views in town. He would like the Sky Deck to be a little longer.

"I got car sick multiple times driving up and down. My car almost went off the cliff and almost plunged to my death, due to overhanging branches. Please install guardrails for safety purposes," Mr Donkeyfat wrote

"And as for the view it was OK but there was too many people on the lookout (and it) was very crowded. The deck needs to be extended."

Do not go there

SooUa's review of this motel was fairly run of the mill until they quoted their husband.

"On entering the room the first thing you notice is the smell, the next, how badly kept the place is.
"The bed felt like it had a board under it (did not dare to look) and the wall of the extremely outdated shower was unstable," SooUa said.
"We went out for dinner and my husband said "I can't go back there", so we collected our things and booked into the (hotel) up the road."

Rossdonkeyfat would like the Skywalk to be extended. Photo: Rob Wright/Coffs Coast Advocate
Rossdonkeyfat would like the Skywalk to be extended. Photo: Rob Wright/Coffs Coast Advocate

Careful you don't get mugged by the establishment thugs if they decide they don't like how you look

Neville W wasn't a fan of this place after purportedly being thrown to the ground by security, thankfully he went straight to where all assaults should be reported - Trip Advisor.

"For real. Had my shirt torn and I was thrown to the ground backwards by hotel thugs while reading notice board," Neville said.

"Would have reported to police but was just passing thru (sic) and had no intention of returning for a court case. This the only negative review I have posted about anything but guess we all need to keep an eye on our back everywhere we go."

Food Poisoning

Sharon wasn't keen on the butter chicken so thoughtfully gave a vivid retelling of her experience.

"Food tasted fine, but one dish was off. How do I know? Because my daughter and I were the only two to get sick and the butter chicken was the only dish in common," Sharon said.

"If projectile vomiting was an Olympic sport, my daughter and I would have one (sic) Gold and Silver. Seriously BAD food."

Teeny Boppers Galore

Katrina wasn't too happy about the age of the clientele at this local bar and may have had a nicer time had the owners provided her with a map.

"Too many youngsters here, not a friendly feel at all. Won't be back. Place is set out strange, easy to get lost especially if you've had a few," Katrina said.

Authors note: Some (a lot) of the grammar in the reviews has been tidied up, though some has been left in for dramatic effect.